LSZ (Lysergic acid 2,4-dimethylazetidide)

What can be said about LSZ, a unique compound with the power to unlock the deepest inner most thought, Introspection at its best.

For a while now I stopped taking psychedelics for fun, (there still fun to use) but my girlfriend didn't like seeing me talking to the cat or staring at her because her hair had changed colour, so I limit my psychedelics to week day trips, Along with a good source of drinks i.e Pepsi, Coffee, Ribena, Water, Beers, Whiskey to name a few just the essentials really, there isn't much I need apart from a quite room and a good CD selection.

Tonight I will delve back into the LSZ experience, with almost no body load and a duration what  seems to fit into the working day of 9 to 5, my last trial at 150ug this was extremely pleasant no anxiety or paranoia, no such body load to speak of and communication with the sober world was well handled.
225ug will be a stated dose for tonight's trip while I expect this to be stronger than the last I feel that it will still be manageable.

When you feel like giving up theres always time for a face pain

It feels like its been 20 years, at least. When it first hit it felt like my brain had been scrambled, instantly confused and agitated beyond believe. I kept this secrete for as long as I could, it must of been 2 years, I felt like it was my fault and I had no way to describe the pain or what was happening to anyone.

After my first MRI scan I was told that I had no obvious tumours or brain damage I was relieved to say the least. My first visit to a neurologist last 30 minutes I was told I had cluster headaches within 5 minutes, although I had no idea what a cluster headache was I was glad to find out I wasn't dying.
When I was 18, a month before the diagnosis I travelled to Amsterdam by myself, this was my fist time flying and going abroad but I somehow manage to pluck up the courage and board that plane and have some time to myself. Shortly before this in work, I experienced my first and only anxiety attack.

I had demons I needed to work through and what better way to do that than a week of skateboarding, Exploring and smoking as much high grade marijuana I could get my hands on. This is what taught me that no matter what I had going on in my life I always had the power to take a week out to actually enjoy myself.

My mental health become my one and only priority, and it still is. I had been a terrible son and brother for so many years, this was the first thing I changed secondly I accepted that how ever much I tried to tell myself there wasn't a god there was one and I need guidance from him, as god made us all in his image I couldn't of been that fucked up. A lot of people would say 'if god was real why did he impose this horrible infliction upon you' To this I say go suck a dick, how could someone/thing not even on this earth change the fact that the nerves in my face where badly wired.
It was guidance I wanted not an excuse.

The pain of Life

Isn't it strange that no matter what we go through we can stay positive. For the most part this is true, life is an subjective experience, how we perceive the world greatly differs between each of us.
Its my belief that not many people are truly happy in this world, Happiness cant be found or brought, its a lesson we need to learn, but there isn't a crash course in which we can sign up to, we must each find our own happiness, But how ?

We must come to terms with our own mistakes and faults that we keep buried within us.
Everything what's ever kept us down must be dealt with and analysed in a proper fashion so that we can learn from it, No one can tell you more than that, as they've never had the same subjective experience as you have.

Further

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Further_(bus)

One of the most interesting cross country bus journeys America as ever experienced.

 

A new approach

Every 10, 20 or even 30 years we all experience a drastic culture change, everything from music to fashion, hair to language, go out of fashion as quick as they came in, this is also the same for drugs.

The 60's had a counter culture revolution, no long where everyday people willing to stand idly by and be told something they knew to be false, it became acceptable to challenge conventional knowledge.
A support structure followed what aloud people to come to there own conclusions, through unbiased discussion, this happened for a wide range of subjects, most important to me was the use of psychedelics. This paved the way for many great teachers and writers to come out of obscurity.
Timothy Leary, Alan Watts, Terence McKenna, Richard Alpert, Ralph Metzner even Ken Kesey (author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) had a lasting impact on the generation of the time.
An impact so significant that its still wrote about today. I do not pretend to know everything about this time/generation but I believe I can take a well educated guess at what they meant at the time.
It was the first time when conventional ideas where thrown out and regarded as nonsense. Although at the same time many people write off psychedelics of as trivial waste of time.
I do not pretend to know 'the truth' or claim to be enlightened in any sense of the word, but I do know how to think for myself and challenge conformity. I'm not talking about sit ins or demonstrations at government agencies, that would be a waste of time, what wouldn't really achieve anything apart from get me a criminal record.

Universal Pain

We all seem to have our own internal struggle, what you may think others may not understand they probably do, No pain is unique. Pain is a universal language, we all speak it, be it in a different tongue it's all the same, your pain and struggle has been felt by thousands alike before you.

2C-E anyone ?
One of the most interesting chemicals I've had the chance to ingest.

 There's a lot to say about the 2C-E experience,
manic and confusing at its peak , pleasant and welcoming with a feeling of real serenity are all present throughout the whole experience.
Its a tough one to handle and needs to be treated with respect, I've had my arse handed to me a few times on this substance and every time I go back I know how much caution I have to treat this with.



 

A 2C-E trip can be hard to integrate, there's usually quite a lot to take in from it like alien emotions to closeted feelings of regret and anger to joy and hopefulness.
There's no doubt that its a colourful, immerseful trip what gets better every time, as long as its not abused.



 

A little idea what can go a long way

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23799590
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23799590

Hope

                                                                This pain I have
                                                             It feels like I'll never
                                                                       Be free

                                                                For I fear this beast
                                                            Like you'd never believe

                                                               It's stunted my life
                                                          I feel cheated and robbed

                                                              Who would of known
                                                              It would have been me

                                                               I don't deserve this
                                                         And one day I will be free

                                                          For this suffering and pain
                                                              I can no longer sustain

                                                       For one day it will be my time
                                                               To live once again

The argument of 'I' and 'me'

Who is experiencing you reading this right now ?, is it someone/something inside your head having this experience or is it just a series of brain processes what enables you to read this, and if your answer is yes, why don't you notice yourself breathing or choosing to when to blink and when to yawn and what keeps your heart pumping blood around your body? Surely its the same 'me' what decides not to walk the dog if its raining ??

The power to want in greater than the power of having

The power to want is greater than the power of having,
Even when we achieve personal growth we are still looking for the next thing we can do after we've basked in the glory of our success, this motivation is why a few of us will never be completely bullied into a community where reaching our goals (personal & spiritual) is frowned upon.

Perception

I believe that we all perceive the world around us differently and the reason for that is how were brought up, sounds obvious I know, But how does this shape us as human beings ? Even if you've been brought up differently how can two people be so similar later in life, regardless of what physical and emotional damage we may have experienced or are still experiencing in everyday life.

Psychedelics promote the other side of thought process what is usually hidden deep within our own minds, they make us confront our demons and insecurity's, many people fight this perception shift as its easier to believe what we already know, and not challenge our own status quo.

We must also look at how other people's perceptions change our own, For the last few years I think we have been almost shunned away from looking within ourselves and talking openly about it.
If one person cant be completely honest when in discussion about this type of thing then our own perception will change as we wouldn't want to be viewed as 'different' and even when it is different this goes all the way back to how we were raised as our guardians have raised us on there own perceptions they made when they were young (and was most probably being judged for it)
People are to easily accepting anything they are told to feel without asking why.

psychedelic experience

Deleted a post here earlier titled psychedelic experience I don\'t suppose anyone out there has a copy or screen shot, it\'s worth a try ?

RUSH

                                                                      RUSH

                                            Never so bright has darkness seemed
                                              and never so long has a minute been
                                                       with the clearest thought
                                                       on the foggiest of nights
                                                there will be something quite new
                                                     and something quite bright

                                                       Don't fight the feeling it
                                                          will all be over soon
                                                      don't rush back you must
                                                             find the meaning
                                                         without being to keen

                                                         Then start again, right
                                                          at the very beginning

Terence McKenna

My notion of what the psychedelic experience is, for us, that we each must become like fishermen, and go out on to the dark ocean of mind, and let our nets down into that sea. And what you're after is not some behemoth, that will tear through your nets, follow them and drag you in your little boat, you know, into the abyss, nor are what we're looking for a bunch of sardines that can slip through your net and disappear. Ideas like, "Have you ever noticed that your little finger exactly fits your nostril?", and stuff like that. What we are looking for are middle-size ideas, that are not so small that they are trivial, and not so large that they're incomprehensible. Middle-size ideas we can wrestle into our boat and take back to the folks on shore, and have fish dinner. And every one of us when we go into the psychedelic state, this is what we should be looking for. It's not for your elucidation, it's not part of your self-directed psychotherapy. You are an explorer, and you represent our species, and the greatest good you can do is to bring back a new idea, because our world is in danger by the absence of good ideas. Our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness. And so to whatever degree any one of us can bring back a small piece of the picture and contribute it to the building of the new paradigm, then we participate in the redemption of the human spirit, and that after all is what it's really all about.