When you feel like giving up theres always time for a face pain

It feels like its been 20 years, at least. When it first hit it felt like my brain had been scrambled, instantly confused and agitated beyond believe. I kept this secrete for as long as I could, it must of been 2 years, I felt like it was my fault and I had no way to describe the pain or what was happening to anyone.

After my first MRI scan I was told that I had no obvious tumours or brain damage I was relieved to say the least. My first visit to a neurologist last 30 minutes I was told I had cluster headaches within 5 minutes, although I had no idea what a cluster headache was I was glad to find out I wasn't dying.
When I was 18, a month before the diagnosis I travelled to Amsterdam by myself, this was my fist time flying and going abroad but I somehow manage to pluck up the courage and board that plane and have some time to myself. Shortly before this in work, I experienced my first and only anxiety attack.

I had demons I needed to work through and what better way to do that than a week of skateboarding, Exploring and smoking as much high grade marijuana I could get my hands on. This is what taught me that no matter what I had going on in my life I always had the power to take a week out to actually enjoy myself.

My mental health become my one and only priority, and it still is. I had been a terrible son and brother for so many years, this was the first thing I changed secondly I accepted that how ever much I tried to tell myself there wasn't a god there was one and I need guidance from him, as god made us all in his image I couldn't of been that fucked up. A lot of people would say 'if god was real why did he impose this horrible infliction upon you' To this I say go suck a dick, how could someone/thing not even on this earth change the fact that the nerves in my face where badly wired.
It was guidance I wanted not an excuse.